Seriously? You guys won the entire competition last season and those are the names you’ve chosen? Are you kidding me? Rocket? Are you serious? Just because you’re fast and can climb mountains you get to be Rocket? And Jet, just because you’re fast and can climb…mountains…also…wait a second. Do American Gladiators get to choose their names from a Thesaurus?

Oh, wait a second. This newcomer’s name is Phoenix. That’s pretty original! You know, because there isn’t a character in the X-Men series who has a fiery red hair color and is named Phoenix. Nice touch with the wings behind you, by the way. I guess you can fly?

Oh Wolf. You are the only American Gladiator in my heart.